Why New Year’s Resolutions Fail ADHD & Autistic Brains
- Kendra Lanni, LICSW
- Dec 28, 2025
- 4 min read
The calendar flips to January, and suddenly, the world is obsessed with "new year, new you" (I’m 100% guilty myself). We are bombarded with messages about discipline, rigid schedules, and the power of pure willpower. But if you are living with an AuDHD (Autism + ADHD) brain or identify as neurodivergent, those shiny new resolutions often feel like a heavy weight by February 1st.
If this is you: Stop trying to willpower your way through January. As an LICSW working with neurodivergent individuals in Rhode Island and Massachusetts, I see this cycle constantly. The issue isn't your motivation or your character—the issue is that traditional goal-setting is designed for neurotypical nervous systems. And if we're being honest, traditional goal-setting doesn't typically serve anyone.
The Dopamine Gap vs. The Willpower Myth
New Year's resolutions usually rely on linear consistency. But neurodivergent brains often run on an interest-based nervous system. You don’t lack the will to do things; you often lack the hit of dopamine required to initiate a task that feels high-demand or boring. When you set a rigid resolution (like "I will go to the gym at 6:00 AM every day"), you are essentially setting an executive function trap. When you inevitably miss a day because of sensory overwhelm or executive dysfunction, the shame spiral kicks in, and you abandon the goal entirely.
Here is one of my favorite low-demand shifts to try this month:
Try Low-Stakes Scaffolding Instead of All-at-Once Productivity
Instead of adding more shoulds to your life, I want to offer you a framework that respects your energy levels. To create sustainable change, we have to lower the activation energy required to start. When we look at a goal—like “exercising more” or “organizing the kitchen”—our brains don't see a sequence; we see one giant, overwhelming blob of work. This leads to paralysis.
Low-Stakes Scaffolding is the practice of breaking a task into tiny, non-threatening bits and spreading them across several days. You aren't doing the project yet; you are just setting up the scaffold so you can reach it later.
Example 1: The "Consistent Exercise" Scaffold
We often fail at exercise because we try to leap from sitting on the couch to five 45-minute HIIT workouts a week. That transition is too steep for a brain that struggles with task-switching. Instead, build a ramp that lowers the sensory and mental cost of moving.
Day 1: The Visual & Sensory Cue. Gather your workout gear (sneakers, socks, or yoga mat). Put them exactly where you plan on using them. Then go about your morning emails or evening routines as usual. The goal is to work the "new" into your everyday space.
Day 2: The Transition Dry Run.
If you use a gym: Drive to the parking lot and listen to one song. If you're up for it, walk inside. Don't go to work out. Go to scout. Find out where the lockers are, identify a comfortable corner with equipment you like, or figure out where the water station is. Then, leave. You'll be able to identify and visualize what types of exercise you'd like to do.
If you work out at home: Clear the physical space. Roll out the mat or move the coffee table. Stand in that space for 5 minutes and choose your YouTube video, exercise program, or playlist so you don't get stuck in scroll paralysis tomorrow.
Why? You are conquering the getting there friction without the performance pressure. Again, you're creating a brain groove for these steps to become a normal routine.
Day 3: The Micro-Movement (5-10 Minutes). Now that the gear is on and the space is ready, do the smallest possible version of your goal. A walk around the block, one yoga flow, a walk on the treadmill, or five minutes of lifting. By now, the startup cost is already paid.
Day 4: The Assessment. Instead of a rigid "I must do this," check in with your capacity. If you have the dopamine for a full session, go for it. If not, return to the Day 3 micro-movement. You'll be surprised at how quickly this scaffolding turns into a full-blown routine.
Example 2: The "Home Organization" Scaffold
We often think organization means "cleaning the whole kitchen on Saturday." For a neurodivergent brain, that’s an executive function nightmare. Instead, try this 5-day ramp:
Day 1: The Visual Survey. Pick one drawer. Open it, look at it, and simply consider what might be trash or treasure. You are just letting your brain get used to the space.
Day 2: The Easy Wins. Open the drawer and remove only the obvious trash (old receipts, broken pens).
Day 3: The Mental Map. Don't open the drawer. Instead, spend two minutes identifying where your nearest donation center or recycling bin is. Imagine which container your items will go in, an old Amazon box? A trash bag? You are building the exit route for the clutter.
Day 4: The Sorting Logic. Bring three bags/bins to the drawer: Stay, Donate, Recycle. Sort the items into these categories. If a decision feels too hard, put that item in the "Stay" pile for now to avoid paralysis. You can always revisit it at a less overwhelming time in the future.
Day 5: The Final Polish. Put a small tray or divider in the drawer for the "Stay" items. Take the "Donate" and "Recycle" bags to your car or the bin. Enjoy your refreshed space!
